Fear of Monsters
by xLollitaa
Summary: Raito is annoyed that Ryuzaki will not keep still while he is trying to sleep. Ryuzaki explains to Raito why he cannot sleep and soon begins to cause more trouble for Raito. The two then get into an argument. Warning: Yaoi.


This is my first ever fan-fiction, so please bare with me if this piece ends up badly and not to your taste. This is a Raito x L fan-fiction, meaning: Raito as seme and L as uke. Warning: there will be yaoi, please be aware. Enjoy!

**Fear of Monsters**

The sound of skin shuffling with the mattress was distracting Raito from sleeping. He had always been a light sleeper – always. From February twenty-eighth, nineteen eighty-six up until now – the slightest sound could awaken him.

As for the man next to him – he was not a light sleeper. Actually, he doesn't sleep _at all_. He was just there, lying on his side with his thumb up to his lip. Every now and then wiggles his toes and swishes his legs and feet against the mattress.

"…_Why…?_" Raito whispers to himself, closing his eyes; trying to distract himself from the sound of rustling fabric.

"Huh?" the man next to Raito questions, "'Why' what, Raito-kun?"

Raito didn't mean for Ryuzaki to hear that, but Raito had nothing better to do (sleeping was not an option – he couldn't _go _to sleep) and answered the raven man's question.

"Why do I have to be stuck with _you _twenty-four hours, seven days a week? _Why _couldn't it be that idiot Matsuda or something! It's practically impossible for a light sleeper to be able to sleep next to a fidgety insomniac!" Raito meant half of that comment as a joke, sure, Ryuzaki was fidgety at times, but he wasn't an insomniac, was he?

Ryuzaki looked at the brunette with a blank expression; like always. "You're a light sleeper? I didn't know! And you're stuck with me because I have to investigate you. Plus, if you were with Matsuda, he would snore – so you wouldn't be able to sleep either way!"

"What time is it right now?" the teen hissed and changing the subject, rolling over to face the other. Ryuzaki peered over his shoulder and his eyes landed on where the electric clock sat. "Three twenty-seven, Raito-kun."

The brunette grumbled, "Usually, a _normal _person would be _sleeping _and having dreams right _now_," he gestured.

Ryuzaki blinked at Raito, "Normal?" he asked. The elder man practically laughed "You're not normal, Raito-kun. You're a _mass murderer_ how could _you _out of all people be 'normal'?"

"Hysterical, Ryuzaki. You're still at that? Thinking I'm Kira?" the boy rolled his eyes.

"It's only thirty-four per-cent."

"And you think that makes a difference?"

"Well, certainly!" Ryuzaki exclaimed. His voice was louder now than when the Task Force was here.

The brunette soon rolled back to his original position and covered his face in the blanket. "Keep it down, please! I want to go to sleep!"

"Sorry Raito-kun, I didn't know that you were a light sleeper. If I could, I'd stop moving for you, but you see – I'm not the most patient person in the world, so you just have to deal with me changing position now and then." Ryuzaki calmly explained.

"Well, you know what, Ryuzaki? I'm getting _very _impatient right now. I want to sleep. And if you can't stop yourself from moving, why can't you just go sleep _yourself_? You're not an insomniac!"

Ryuzaki showed a dark face, becoming slightly angry, "Actually, I am one, Raito-kun. You said it yourself, you don't want to sleep next to a fidgety insomniac like me," the elder recalled. Talented how he could remember small details – he's not the World's Greatest Detective for nothing.

"Huh?" Raito reacted. Of course, he had a feeling that Ryuzaki had insomnia, but that was only a small thought. He never thought it was true. "It was just a joke…Ryuzaki. D-Do you drink too much coffee, is that why? You should cut the caffeine a little – possibly it's because of the Kira case? Are you stressed, Ryu—"

"I thought you wanted to go to sleep. Please do not wonder _why _I have insomnia," the raven obviously wanted to end the conversation.

"It's hard to go to sleep when you're wondering about a person you are chained to…" Raito retort.

Ryuzaki blinked in confusion. "Raito-kun thinks about me?"

"Hey, don't piss me off right now. Tell me why you have insomnia, well, if you know why you have it. You look tired! And I bet you _are _tired. Spit it out and I'll help you get to sleep."

"Raito-kun wants me to sleep?"

"Of course I do – one, it's for your health benefits and two, so you can stop moving so _I _can get some sleep."

"Raito-kun is quite selfish…" Ryuzaki whined.

"Shut up Ryuzaki, I'm helping you too. Now, why can't you sleep? Too much coffee? Too much stress? Depression? _Drugs_?"

The raven looked at the teen with a blank face. "Fear," he remarked.

"Fear?" Raito repeated, questioning the word.

"Yes, fear, Raito-kun," Ryuzaki's eyes wandered downwards. "_Fear…_" he whispers to himself.

"Fear of what?" Raito asked, leaning into the detective.

"I have a fear of monsters."

Raito looked at Ryuzaki, puzzled, for the fourth time and realised what the other just said. "Monsters?" Raito repeated, in a weary voice.

"You may think that this sounds a bit foolish…"

"I'm thinking that right now, Ryuzaki."

The raven paused, "So I thought."

Raito closed his chocolate eyes, swimming in a pool of thoughts in his head. "There are no such things as monsters," he finally said. Ryuzaki blinked, his ebony orbs lay on Raito's honey coloured face. Silence devoured the room, waiting for one or the other to break it – like breaking a life.

"Well," Ryuzaki began, deciding to break the silence, "I believe in monsters."

"Do you think a monster with horns and pointy teeth will come out of the closet and bite you?" Raito taunted. The man on the other side of the chain made a dark face, showing some emotion to the little joke.

"No, Raito-kun, I am no child, I do not believe in those kinds of monsters."

'_Lies,'_ Raito thought _'you said it yourself, that you are a child and don't like to lose any game.' _

Raito gave out a sigh, "What other monsters are there?"

Ryuzaki looked at Raito, and leaned forward, making Raito feel a bit uncomfortable.

"When I was younger…" Ryuzaki began "and when my parents were still alive, I told my father that I could not sleep at night. I thought there were monsters in my closet. The 'real' ones, big and frightening monsters. My father came into the room asking 'what's wrong?' and I explained everything to him."

"What? Did he say there were such things as monsters? Is that why you're so scared?"

"No, he told me that there were no such thing as monsters, just like how you explained there are no such thing as vast, furry, pointy-toothed creatures. He told me there was none of that and it was just my imagination and that there are no such things."

"It _is _your imagination, don't you see? Even your father says so; there are no such things as monsters."

"I believed him then; there were no such thing as monsters… But, three months later, I believed in them again. That's when my parents died in a house fire. That's when I realised that a monster swallowed them up. A big monster, with no eyes and only a mouth, blindly eating whatever it encounters in its red and orange body…"

Raito, who did not know what to say, just looked at Ryuzaki. He could say 'oh, that's a fire, no monster' but that might hurt the elder's feelings, for he did look a little depressed at the moment.

"And that is when I became afraid," the detective continued, "I became afraid a monster would swallow me up and take me to my grave. So I don't sleep at night, I'm too afraid and too cautious."

"Ryuzaki," Raito began, lifting up his hand, "Look at this." He jingled the handcuffs, making the detective confused. "You are here with me, and if there is a fire, I will be swallowed up too, so there is no need to worry." Raito smiled at Ryuzaki, but in return, Raito received a blank face.

"Raito-kun, I did not finish. Since the Kira case began, I've been coming closer to have a risk of seeing a monster. And after I made my first and boldest move, I have encountered a monster. Now, I see a monster every day."

"You see a fire every day?" Raito questioned, starring at Ryuzaki with confused chocolate orbs.

"No, Raito-kun. I see you every day."

Raito became unresponsive.

"I'm sorry, Raito-kun, that must have been a little harsh on you – I didn't mean it that way, I—"

"_Me_? A monster? I am no monster, Ryuzaki – L! I am not Kira, if you were referring to that. I am defiantly _not _a monster! _You _are the monster, what kind of person would lock themselves and their prime suspect together with a chain? You're not a twisted human, L– you're more like a _monster _to me! Look at you! Messy hair and bags under your eyes! You should be the one coming out of the closet roaring and scaring the shit out of people! I see a monster every day! And that monster is not me in the mirror, it's you, L! You!"

"Raito-kun… Please don't take this personally, I…"

"What? Now you're going to take it back, saying I'm not a monster? I highly doubt that you're going to _sincerely _take that back, you asshole—"

"Raito-kun! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it that way," Ryuzaki pleaded. "_Please_, stop referring to me by that title."

"This is about your title now, huh? And what _way _did you mean it in?"

Raito expected an answer, but unfortunately, he did not.

"I hate you, L."  
"Please, Raito-kun, you know I didn't mean like that."

"Yeah, I know you didn't mean to make it sound like I'm a zombie or a ghost. You tried to point out that I was a mass-murderer called Kira!"

"Raito-kun!"

"You aggravate me so much, L!"

"My name is Ryuzaki!"  
"Oh, what's the difference? Ryuzaki, L, Ryuga… They're all assholes!"

"Raito-kun!" Ryuzaki pleaded, tears overflowing his dark eyes.

"Why are you crying, you fool? Did I insult you that much?" the brunette asked with no sympathy.

"I…I never really feel sorry for _anyone _or _anything_. It… It feels…"

"Painful? Well, so is being a prime suspect of a murder case. First you claim you believe in monsters and now _this_? You never feel sympathy and sorrow? How socially awkward _are you_?"

"Yagami-kun!" Ryuzaki then began to sob, not recalling the feeling of sorrow nor knowing how to handle it. Raito, who was not amused, did not try to comfort the man one bit. The teen did not know where this came from, but… he liked the sound of a crying L. He enjoyed it.

_Am I really a monster? Am I Kira? _Raito started to swim in thoughts. _No, I can't be. I don't remember anything._

"Quit crying, Ryuzaki! I'll make you feel even more sorrowful if you don't stop crying! I want to sleep!"

No, as if the elder did not hear him, he kept crying, and Raito's blood kept flowing – _fast_.

"Fucking asshole…" Raito whispered.

"Raito-kun! Please, I'm… I'm sorry!"

"You think I care if you are sorry? Look, you are the one suspecting me as Kira. You think me saying 'I'm sorry for looking so suspicious!' will make you stop your little plans of how to catch me being Kira?"

"Raito…-kun… I… I…"

"I don't care, Ryuzaki. Get together and let me sleep."

Raito then rolled over and shut his eyes, for him to only hear the soft sounds of a crying raven.

_It's been nearly an hour and he's still crying… Why does he have to be so difficult?_

"Ryuzaki…" Raito hissed.

"I-I'm sorr—"

The teen, fully aggravated and displeased, threw his arms up and grabbed the weeping man's neck, clutching it tightly.

"—Ah…! Rai…to-k!" Raito did not realise that the choking did not compose a poker-faced L, only one that had more tears roll down.

"I like to hear you cry," Raito confessed, with a grin. "Come on, cry some more."

_I feel like I'm going crazy… _the brunette thought.

The comment caused Ryuzaki to whimper. "M-mons…"

"What, L? What are you trying to say?" Raito taunted.

"Monster…ah!" Between each suffering breath, another tear rolled down the eyes of the Greatest Detective in the World.

"I'm a monster? Me?"

"Ah! Yes, y-you a-are…"

The teen practically laughed. "You, Ryuzaki – L, have not seen the monster side of me…"

"K-Kir…a!"

"No. Not Kira. I am not Kira. No matter how many times you dream of me being him."

"Ah! Ha…ha…" Ryuzaki huffed. "_Air…_"

"Air? You want air? You don't want to play with your little _monster_?"

"Ah…!"

With Raito's free hand, he pressed on the detective's stomach, feeling the flesh of the person on the other side of the cuffs. The man was bony, skinny; it made Raito wonder if he could break him. _But, there is no time right now, maybe another time, though. _The honey fingers then moved downwards to the man's blue jeans.

"You don't even change into pyjamas, you freak."

The hand then touched a cold part of the jeans – the zipper. Without hesitation, Raito pulled it down, yanked the button on the top of the jeans and dug his way into another part of Ryuzaki's body.

The brunette could feel sweat from the raven's neck and decided to let go. The raven, took in a few deep breaths and his hands then flew in the air and landed on Raito's head, trying to push him away.

"Don't," Raito warned. "You try to stop me and I'll choke you again. Keep crying, you little brat."

Hesitant, Ryuzaki decided to follow the orders of the other and lay back on the bed, his face burning red.

Raito, now pulling the boxers down, leaned into the member. The elder lifted his head, looking at what the teen was doing. The teen notices the orbs that were locked on him.  
"Oh? You want to watch, L? That's fine too," Raito smirked.

"No… what… what are you going to do?" Ryuzaki cried.

"Nothing much. You might find some pleasure in this, actually. But then again, I want to see you cry some more…" he began to think out loud.

"Please… don't do what I think you are going to do," Ryuzaki begged.

"What? This?" Raito asked, and summoned his tongue. The tongue then crawled up the member, gliding its way through. Tasting the inner part of the Greatest Detective in the World.

Wet, hot, sticky, Ryuzaki had never encountered this feeling all at once before. It was so… so…

"You taste just like cake," Raito complimented. "I hate cake…"

"T-then… please, s-stop it…ah!" Ryuzaki felt a bite on his tip.

"But, you are different, L."

"Nn…"

"You don't like it?" No reply. "Of course, you should like it, don't try to hide it. You may be a great detective, but you are not able to trick everyone…" Raito started to bite him harder.

"Ahh! Raito-kun! Ahh! Stop it, it hurts…!" Tears fell upon Ryuzaki's pale cheek.

"That's right, _cry. _Come on and _cry_."

Raito then took the whole member into his mouth, causing the elder to have a wave of shock crawl up his spine. It was a sensation that could not be defined.

Ryuzaki – L, his emotions, they didn't add up. He felt sorrowful, he felt pain, and how does it all add up to pleasure…?

He couldn't take it anymore – Ryuzaki's hands reached for Raito's head once again, causing the teen to quickly react and lean up towards Ryuzaki's face.

"I told you to endure it," the brunette warned.

"I… I… I just couldn't take it! It was just so… so…"

"Don't think I don't know how you feel, you worthless detective. You feel pain and pleasure. Have you ever jerked off before? Well, that's how it feels. And it makes you feel guilty too, alright? I know _exactly _what you are feeling. You know why? It's because I'm not a fucking monster. I know you want to cry, you fucking insomniac. So go cry if you want to. No one's stopping you – actually, I _want _to see you cry."

"…Monster…" Ryuzaki commented for the several time.

"Yet you _like _what the monster is doing to you – you're nothing but a monster yourself, L."

"Monster…"

"You like it."

"Monster!"

Raito leaned into Ryuzaki's crying face and crashed their lips together. Ryuzaki found more tears to roll down his eyes, making it harder for him to breath with a dominate partner up in his face.

Raito released the kiss and let Ryuzaki breathe. "Even your lips taste like cake… I hate it."

"Then stop it!" the raven cried once more.

"You're different."

While saying the words, Raito automatically removed his own pants and boxers off to reveal his own member.

"No…no…no, no, no!" the detective whined, bringing his thumb up to his mouth – the usual quirk.

"Yes, L, you want it – I want it…" and so the teen proceeded. "Remember, do anything and I'll send your lungs to their grave again."

The honey fingers placed the member next to the detective's entrance.

"Getting sticky already? Wow, you must like this _a lot_."

"No, no, no!"

"Ready, L?" Raito teased.

"No, no, no, don't! No, no, no! Raito-kun, no!"

Raito pushed himself in anyway, feeling the hot body.

"Raito…! Ahh! It's so…"

"It feels so hot and disgusting in here…Ack!" Raito twitched.

"Monster! Kira!"  
"Shut up!"

"Monster!"

Raito thrust himself inside the elder. "I didn't think you were capable of having a hot body. I thought you would be ice cold…"

The men were not boiling in a pot; they were merely boiling on a bed… Melting in one another's guilty and horrible heat.

"Mm, R-Raito-ku… Get…out, before I…"

"Come?" Raito taunted. "Go ahead, you pervert."

White, all white. Just a splat of paint – no, not paint. Paint was not this sweet, nor was it this sticky. It was just a piece of L, a detective. It was just a piece of the pitiful L.

"Does it feel good…?" Raito questioned.

The raven man closed his eyes for the first time in a while.

"Ah, it feels bad…"

"Don't lie to me, L. I can see that you like it."

"No…Ah, I…" words were struggling to come out of the raven's mouth. He was speechless, and couldn't do anything but cry there.

"I love you, Raito Yagami," Ryuzaki confessed, still in pain and tears.

"I know you are lying, L. I am a monster, remember?" the teen tested.

"You are a monster, I love you. I fear you and love you, isn't it strange…?"

"Why are you telling me this now?" Raito blinked.

"… I just thought… It would be a good time to confess."

"You are a monster, Ryuzaki."

"I know that…" the raven added with a pitiful voice. "D-Do you love me too…?"

The eight-teen year old did not know what to say. What was this? A test to see if Raito was Kira? Is that what it was?

"Do I love you, L? An asshole like you – an insomniac like you – who pisses me off every day? Do you think I love you?"  
Ryuzaki then became silent, his face reflected off a gloomy expression. His head tilted to the left while the head started to move down. "No… You don't," Ryuzaki said.

"Of course, I love you, L."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, I am sure… I… I'm sorry about all this… You're tired. Go to sleep." Raito only let out a yawn – getting tired of all the sex.

And so the elder did, closed his eyes and relaxed the tense muscles of his body.

Raito, on the other hand, exited Ryuzaki and slipped his boxers and pants on again, also, going to sleep.

Honestly, the brunette only told the other to go to sleep because he, himself, was becoming tired. Realising that he wore the detective off and to send him off to dream-land was the only option. What he did not realise, though, was that Ryuzaki sincerely confessed his love towards him. Raito Yagami's confession… Was only an impulse.

* * *

But Ryuzaki's resting self did not last long, six o'clock in the morning he woke up again and the first thing he saw…

Was his little monster sleeping ever so deeply next to him.


End file.
